Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Grrrrrrrooo!

Some ppl think they can just do watever they want eh!! I am so pissed off with P&P...i wanted to rant soooo much.. but i lost it by the time i logged in and started to blog.. !! grrrrrrrrooo


Crush

He was my crush in HS. I have been looking for him since i finished school . He was my senior. I still think he is the cutest guy i have ever met.

I guess my return blog is for him. I think i found him in a social networking site. Will he remm me? Atleast its nice to see he is still around here somewhere. 

One person i never told i had a crush on. More because i was his junior.  Ok Ok lots to tell.

Let me see if i hear back from him :)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Now wat?

Gosh this week, sure did have it moments!!! 


But the thing is, what stood out more for me, is i think, again, i think.. i might just be going away from a few of my beliefs, and although this makes me feel like such a hypocrite, the feelings i have because of this make it seem OK… 


Like its no big deal, maybe its a god-damned thing, maybe im dreaming, maybe im just fucking up the wrong tree, he says it addictive, i think he’s right…  


But you know what, even if i do end up hurting myself, and i say hurting myself because i wont allow him to hurt me, thats just too much to handle...i really don’t care… he just makes me think jell-o is solid…at times.., although he sometimes think that that’s a good thing but i may be wrong… he’s such a rude ass and I cant be rude to him ; so we fit, like yin-yang, like a single cherry on whip cream, like doty doty dots on a lady bug… 


There’s no cold, yet he makes me shiver, there’s no flame and yet i burn, I’m still not sure what i am afraid of, yet i tremble… there’s no storm, yet i hear thunder…My tummy has butterflies and my heart beats a little faster, when my phone beeps with his number…I’m in a higher state of being and float through our conversations…weak one moment, the next im fine… its like im falling every time. i think he is my close friend but then he makes me himself think and tries to make me think that its hardly true… maybe cuz we’re just very close…maybe cuz we just find that comfort in each other, its often confusing, but does this happen to people who haven’t met each other…? he laughs at me…more often than with me… But i don’t care, its his laugh that i need, his re assurance that we’ll be friends no matter what…And just before i sleep at night, i need to know he’s there…And all the while I’m thinking things…That I can never share with him. I’m a bundle of confusion, Yet it has a strange appeal.Did it all begin with him, And the way he makes me feel.. 



Yes, im fucking sweet at time and i do have my fucking moods… and i do fucking fall in love or maybe i do fucking think i fall in love…so fucking what.. im still a bloody girl! Deal with it!!!! 



Monday, August 3, 2009

Oxymoronic life?

Ever been in a fine mess?


Ever been absolutely unsure of the happenings around you?


Ever been left alone in a crowd?

Ever had a stroke of bad luck?


Ever been given a blue rose?


Ever been part of a civilized warfare?


Ever been fooled by somebody’s daily special?


Ever hazarded an educated guess?


Ever been told an important trivia?


--sigh!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

July madham vandhaal

It’s quite surprising how your days seem to drag on and on and on to no end while an entire month flies off in a blink. A month with a good mix of happy and sad moments. Got hurt very bad sometime mid month. Very bad. Hope I am able to forget what happened very soon and patch things sometime in the future. Loads of work. The urge to quit becomes stronger. Rod of recession digs deeper. Work for money or work for satisfaction? Went out with some friends and as usual did our regular mokkais. Realised how much fun it is to hang out with people who’ve known you for over a few years. Our capacity increases 10 fold. Dance after dance, drink after drink, was a marathon night. A wild month, hectic, no time to breathe with soo much work & dance. G buys an iPhone. Spoke to M,M,R,A,V more often than i ever would. Cutty Sark. High. P. Oh more over met P for 15 mins thats the longest ive met him in a month now..!!.  Cracked about a million ideas to start-up a business with. None took off. Alnight jamming sessions with friends. A few birthday treats. A blog post on the travails of a 24 year old gets awesome response. Over a 100 comments. Sad and strange to see that a million more feel what I do. Few contacts added on Gtalk. Some1 gets in touch out of the blue. Drama ensues. Hit a dead end, again. I promise myself not to repeat it again. I will break it for sure. Like always, ended the month feeling sooper tired. Lost touch with a few. Got in touch with a lot more. Thinking of it, July was anything but eventful. Guess I have to start taking somethings/days with a handful of salt. 



July madham vandhaal

It’s quite surprising how your days seem to drag on and on and on to no end while an entire month flies off in a blink. A month with a good mix of happy and sad moments. Got hurt very bad sometime mid month. Very bad. Hope I am able to forget what happened very soon and patch things sometime in the future. Loads of work. The urge to quit becomes stronger. Rod of recession digs deeper. Work for money or work for satisfaction? Went out with some friends and as usual did our regular mokkais. Realised how much fun it is to hang out with people who’ve known you for over a few years. Our capacity increases 10 fold. Dance after dance, drink after drink, was a marathon night. A wild month, hectic, no time to breathe with soo much work & dance. G buys an iPhone. Spoke to M,M,R,A,V more often than i ever would. Cutty Sark. High. P. Oh more over met P for 15 mins thats the longest ive met him in a month now..!!.  Cracked about a million ideas to start-up a business with. None took off. Alnight jamming sessions with friends. A few birthday treats. A blog post on the travails of a 24 year old gets awesome response. Over a 100 comments. Sad and strange to see that a million more feel what I do. Few contacts added on Gtalk. Some1 gets in touch out of the blue. Drama ensues. Hit a dead end, again. I promise myself not to repeat it again. I will break it for sure. Like always, ended the month feeling sooper tired. Lost touch with a few. Got in touch with a lot more. Thinking of it, July was anything but eventful. Guess I have to start taking somethings/days with a handful of salt.